This hasn't been an easy week. Tonight I'm feeling pretty good and thought I would record some things I'm grateful for:
Relatives
My appreciation of relatives got a huge boost this week. It's very nice that a group of people came to the viewing from start to finish and just sat there with us. It's nice to feel supported just by having those other people with you in the room. It's nice to feel that this is a collective loss, not just mine or my family's.
Friends
Honestly I think I am the luckiest person in the world when it comes to friends. Good friends from 1985-1998+ were there at the funeral with me. I'm so grateful that I get to go through my life with these friends. So many other wonderful people who are amazing friends have also reached out to me. It's not that anyone can really DO a lot right now, but it feels so nice to have friends (my R.S. president's turkey rolls were amazing though).
Chad
I'm really bad at crying in public. I don't know why and it's something I need to fix. A good thing about marriage, though, is that you can't really avoid crying in front of another person sometimes. I'm so glad Chad is who he is. He's a wonderful counselor.
Writing
I'm a better writer than talker and writing is enjoyable and therapeutic for me. Writing down the many thoughts swirling around in my head is helping me to make sense of them and let them go.
The Holy Ghost
Tonight I'm feeling especially grateful for this. I know the Holy Ghost is real. I know He can directly teach us things that can't otherwise really be explained. I know He is the bringer of hope.
The Plan
I really do know that things will work out. Even if some of us get to be the ones suffering or causing suffering, this can be learned from and can collectively perfect us. I know God's plan is perfect. I know that at a future time we will each be judged with perfect mercy and perfect justice/fairness. I know that there is room for A LOT of hope in this plan and tonight I'm especially understanding parts of that. I LOVE this plan!
One final thought:
If you pray and receive the answer you wanted, that is faith promoting. If you pray and don't receive the answer you wanted, and continue faithful anyway, that is faith perfecting. That is when God gets to teach you how to understand his Gospel better than you did before.
Glad to hear you're having some ups along with your downs. I felt very uplifted by the funeral. I'm glad you and your family decided to do it that way.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that we wound up adding to the agony of the day. We three often have difficulty processing our emotions.
We just bought a 6-person pass to the Children's Discovery Museum. Let me know when you're up for a trip. I'll call or text next week if I haven't heard from you by then. :)