Reasons

All of the contention over Proposition 8 has made me think about my position, even though I don't live in California. I'm thankful that every person in this country has the ability to cast their vote and that I also have this right, regardless of what the judiciary system eventually decides in spite of votes made. I understand why a person who has chosen to live a gay lifestyle would feel like he/she has the right to make a commitment to their loved one that is socially seen as equal to marriage. Regardless of that, there are several reasons why I personally could not vote in favor of gay marriage:

Tendency vs. Action

I fundamentally disagree with many homosexuals about their reasons for acting in homosexual ways. I believe that we are all born with or acquire both helpful and harmful tendencies. For example, some people are either born with or grow up to have a very difficult time holding their tempers. Even though they have the tendency to lash out, the laws of the land punish them from doing so in certain ways, and so they must keep their tempers at certain levels, even if this is a very strong tendency they deal with, and even if they don't even overcome it in this lifetime. Similarly, I believe that people can be born with or grow up to have homosexual tendencies. But just because they have these tendencies does not mean that they are required to act on them. If they act on them they do it because they choose to.

In the matter of human rights, this is a great distinction. As far as I am aware, all of the previous human rights issues we have dealt with in this country, blacks and women being examples, were matters of individual identity and not of individual action. I believe that being born with a tendency and acting on that tendency are different things, and that acting on tendency is not mandatory.

Numbers

I know that whether gay marriage is legal or not in the place my kids grow up, gay relationships are going to be more prevalent than they were when I grew up. I am intrigued by the rise in the numbers of people who believe they were born gay over the last several decades. Unless tens of thousands of people kept their gay lifestyles in the closet for millenia (although we know of some who did I don't believe there were that many, although absolute proof of whether this is true or not is probably not available), either many, many more people are now being born gay, or gay tendencies are developing in many more people as they grow up than ever were before. Since being involved in gay relationships involves acting upon a tendency or desire, I believe the latter is occurring. I think that because kids now grow up with the idea of being gay presented to them more often and more strongly than it ever was before, more kids are deciding that homosexuality is their preference and that since that is their preference they must have been born that way.

In light of this, my problem with legalizing gay marriage is that as far as I know one of the reasons proponents want this is that it will make gay relationships more mainstream/normal. This will create more opportunities to present to the minds of even more children and youth the question of whether or not they themselves are gay, and thus even more people in the rising generation will discover that they were "born that way."

Results

As I mentioned above, I believe that legalizing gay marriage would increase the numbers of people believing they are gay and would thus increase the numbers of gay relationships. Although some people believe that gay relationships pose no problem for society, I believe they do for several reasons.

First, gay couples cannot bear their own children. As the number of gay relationships increases, the number of hetersexual relationships must decrease, which would decrease the number of couples bearing children. Many European countries are already not replenishing their own populations and governments are trying to encourage couples to bear more children.

Second, I wish that every child could be raised by a man and a woman so that he or she could have a close-up example of how to have a relationship with the opposite sex. I wish that every girl could be raised by a mother who could model womanhood and wifehood for her and that every boy could be raised by a father who could show him how to be a man and a husband. I don't think it's any surprise that many women find it easier to have a close relationship with another woman (we all know men and women are different in a lot of ways, and sometimes getting along is hard!), but I don't believe that's how we were created to be (and our biology supports that). We need more adult heterosexual role models that kids can use to create their own successful relationships with the opposite sex. I recognize that there are already many single-parent households and wish that weren't the case. I feel that legalizing gay marriage, and thus increasing the likelihood that children will be raised by two women or by two men, robs more children of a close model for their own gender and also robs them of an example of how to have a heterosexual relationship.

Third, I believe the Bible. I believe that acting in gay relationships (which is not the same as having gay tendencies) is a sin. If a majority of the people in our society support sin, especially sexual sin, God cannot bless us as He otherwise could. I am not saying that God doesn't love gay people. He loves them as much as He loves the rest of us sinners, but as He has shown us in the Bible, sexual sin is a very serious matter to Him.

Speech and Religion

This is an interesting view by one who opposes same-sex marriage:

Anita Staver, president of Liberty Counsel and co-author of the Florida Marriage Protection Amendment, told reporters: “We don’t need a crystal ball to tell what’s going to happen in Florida if Amendment 2 does not pass. Normalizing same-sex marriage will suppress speech and religion. The ultimate goal for those opposing Amendment 2 is to silence all opposition to same-sex behavior and the homosexual lifestyle. Noting the “gay marriage” debate is “really a battle over the freedom of speech,” Staver listed 10 examples in schools, churches and private businesses in which persons opposing homosexuality have been discriminated against, usually in states and countries where “gay marriage” has been legalized.

I'm sure many have heard the stories about the families in Massachusetts (where gay marriage is legal) who lost legal battles when their 5 and 7 year old kids were taught about homosexuality in public school. I think 5 years old is too young to learn about princes marrying princes and how happy they were together. Of course kids will notice same-sex couples, whether they are married or not, and of course I will talk about it with my kids, but I want to legally be able to know whether their teachers are talking about it and what is being taught, and if I disagree I want to have the freedom to do something about it.

I find it interesting that the LDS Church has been picketed against and that persons supporting proposition 8 have been labeled as bigots for exercising their freedom of speech. When early LDS Church members were beaten and thrown out of their homes in Missouri, part of the reason was that their non-LDS neighbors knew the Saints were anti-slavery and would vote against slaveholders' "rights" to own slaves.

I want to emphasize that I'm not a bigot and a hater of gay people. My very talented hairstylist is a lesbian. I have a good friend with a lesbian sister. I'm sure both love their long-term partners. But that doesn't mean I personally can cast a vote in favor of gay marriage.