awesome in my bucket

I loved Kathryn Thompson's post from earlier this year called "Drops of Awesome," about focusing on the good things we do, each good thing being like a celebratory drop of good we put in our bucket. This sure also applies to the drops of awesome other people put in our buckets.

For some reason (probably because I'm American and grew up with three consistent meals a day and access to grass and birthday cakes) I've spent a lot of years of my life thinking I'm entitled to a lot of things, and if something in my life wasn't as perfect as it was in someone else's I felt a bit slighted. I may not have admitted it, but I felt it. Over time I realized that I felt bits of angry-ness over things and that I let those add up and sit inside of me, and that those feelings came from perceived injustices over things I thought I had some right to. You know, little things like Chad not helping the girls at night, or opportunities I may not have had in the past. One night (here) I realized that the truth - the absolute complete truth - is that I am entitled to nothing. No one owes me anything. I'm lucky that I even got to be born and anything good that anyone has done to me was done of their own free will, a gift to me, a drop of awesome they put in my bucket when there was absolutely no requirement to put it there.

Since realizing this I am a lot less angry and more happy. I am a lot more grateful and less disappointed. I'm not saying we shouldn't seek good change when it is needed, but the truth is that always, everything I receive from others or from God are drops of awesome freely given. I am entitled to nothing.